Monday, July 22, 2013



Lately I've been feeling pretty overwhelmed. It's not in a bad way at all, although, taking two summer courses through A&M is quite intense. I've had a speech and two exams this week, and there's only more to come. Luckily, I'll be done with classes in three weeks, and I'll have taken nine hours this summer, which leaves me with 25 hours left to complete my degree. Twenty-five hours. I can't believe I'm so close to actually being a college graduate. But, back to what I was saying, I've been so overwhelmed with passion. It's like I can't not get consumed with everything I want to do in life! I want to further my photography, in fact, I'm planning on taking two photography courses this year at A&M {being a non-artsy school, that's about as good as it's going to get}, I want to further my photography skills because I feel like it could actually become somewhat of a business. I even want to take a course on black and white photography and learn how to use a black room to develop my own photos, a talent that I wish hadn't faded away with technology. 

It's not only photography though, I'm really feeling extremely passionate about home decor and even maybe trying to see if I can't find some sort of part-time job with any sort of restoration teams or something. I have no clue if that's even a possibility, but I'm pretty handy anyway.. so I've been figuring stuff out on my own, and my absolute favorite show right now would have to be Rehab Addict, a show about a woman who takes on projects in the Minneapolis/St. Paul area of Minnesota to restore century old homes to their former glory. I am seriously obsessed. First of all, I love anything vintage, and second of all, she reuses all sorts of things to make the house look like it did way back in 1890 or 1900. Upcycling at it's finest. Oh, and it's really made me want to visit Minneapolis, I even had a dream about it the other day. Weird. She's also a real estate agent for all of her homes, making me think that if anything, I could see about the real estate industry. I know pretty much nothing about it, but I know my school has a good graduate program for it.. so maybe? I don't know, I'm still looking in to HR, but I'm just not sure yet. 

It's seriously kind of overwhelming to want to do so much, but it's better than not wanting to do anything, right? For so long I've been confused about what I wanted to do since my strong points are more along the liberal artsy side, and as a girl who will most likely be the bread winner in the family for at least four years while Curtis is off at dental school, med school, or getting a doctorate degree -- yeah, he's indecisive, too -- I felt like I needed to get a degree in something that was more tangible and more likely to get me a job. I tried Accounting, everyone pushed me into more like, but it really wasn't for me. It stressed me out more than anything, and I absolutely despised how competitive the environment felt {once again, my school has a really awesome 5-year program for accounting to get your bachelor's and master's degrees in that time, plus they get you an internship with a Big 4 firm, awesome.. but not for me}. It made me feel like I wasn't smart, and for the first time in my life, I truly doubted my ability to do things. So, after lots of tears, talking to my parents and Curtis, I decided to keep my sanity and change my major. Since I always already pretty far into school at that point, the only other options were business majors, I don't really mind it. Getting a degree in Business Management can take me anywhere I want to go, and I'm pretty happy about not being confined to any one thing. 

Anyway, I just wanted to type down a little of what I've been feeling lately. For so long I've felt like my dreams were just too big to be obtainable, but.. I've prayed about it for so long, and now I'm starting to gain confidence again, and I know that I can literally do anything I want to do. It just takes a little bit of hard work and determination. 

Oh, and I just wanted to brag on the fact that this girl, right here, made a 92 on her first public speech. I was freaking out the entire time, but apparently it wasn't as awful as I thought it was going to be. I know one thing I won't be doing.. becoming one of those motivational speaker people! I'll just try and be inspiring through written word, I'm much more comfortable with it. Ha!


  1. That's great that you have so many ideas! That just means you have lots of great potential options! Also, congratulations of your speech. A 92? That's awesome!

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  2. Congrats on doing so well! And I'm so jealous that you are so much closer than me to being a college graduate!

  3. That was your first public speech?? How did you get through all your schooling and just now have to make a speech?? Lucky!!

    Congrats on such a high grade! I tend to stammer and look down way too much. Public speaking is one of my biggest fears..

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  4. i align with this post so hard, kristina. i've always had two handfuls of passion, but lately i'm feeling completely overwhelmed. as a "grown up", i'm supposed to be choosing a career path, not a new hobby. i want to write a book, i want my blog to be successful, i want to thrive in my non profit work, i want to get my business off the ground. i just feel like i don't have enough hours or energy or funds to make it all happen. with student loans seriously looming over me, i can feel my passions fighting head on and i'm worried that i won't be able to achieve both. i'm so scared of failing very publicly with my social media business. i have no business experience and a ton of doubt. selling myself and keeping my head up feels impossible sometimes, so i start researching americorps positions to focus on getting rid of my student loan debt instead. i want to do it all. i want to be happy. i want to be stable. can't these all coexist?

    i'm so, so glad that you're perusing photography. you're really talented and your personality would make anyone comfortable. i can't wait to see more of your work in the coming years! get on those senior photos at the local high school, girl! you have an edge because you can help the kiddos style themselves as well as photograph them. i say go for it!

    xo nicole

  5. PLEASE COME VISIT MINNEAPOLIS. We can see each other and talk about blogging and marriage and passions and homes and clothing and health and become bffs. Pretty please?!

    1. Haha, I would seriously LOVE to!
      I secretly checked out the HR program at the University of Minnesota. Curtis was like.. what the heck is this when the brochure came in the mail. I think he's afraid of the snow! haha


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